What’s your perfect day out, a country walk followed by a pub lunch, a pre-theatre meal & then a show, or a spa day? A perfect day out for me would be vintage clothes shopping, with a quick lunch thrown in. It is safe to say I love vintage clothes, I have quite a few passed down from my Mum & Grandma, but I also have some real gems that I have bought from vintage clothes shops, & I still think of those ones that got away! I love knowing that there is a story behind that piece & somebody else may have loved it as much as me. And you can make up your own story to go with the piece of clothing, 1980’s, was she wearing that blouse to dance to Donna Summer at a disco or, 1960’s, was she hopping on & off the end of a London bus in that coat or 1990’s, has that T-Shirt been to rave in a disused car park… (you get the idea).

Buying preloved or vintage is also better for the environment, as fashion is one of the biggest polluters globally, fashion produces 10% of the global carbon emissions.

London is awash with vintage stores across the capital & most other cities have their fair share of great vintage shops, but Brick Lane in London has quite a few & they are all in one place which is an added bonus. Brick Lane is a great day out, & is next door to Spitalfields which is another fantastic, vibrant area for shopping & eating & drinking.

I went to Brick Lane a few weeks ago looking for a jumper specifically, (the results are below) but before you plan your own visit, this is what you need to know…

There is Brick Lane Vintage Market which is huge, but you also have the separate shops on Brick Lane & the roads off Brick Lane, which are House Of Vintage London Vintage, Rokit, Non Stop Vintage, Hunky Dory & Atika which is a large department store & that is just a handful of what is on offer. If you are shopping vintage for the first time, here are some things you might want to shop for.

Denim is great to buy secondhand, as manufacturing Denim has a massive environmental impact, from the volume of water needed to make one pair of jeans to the dyes & chemicals that are used to treat denim which end up polluting local waterways. You can also find a pair of jeans for a fraction of the price, you will find brands like Lee, Levis, Guess & Calvin Klein.

Macs are a good second hand buy, you can find Burberrys or something similar in most of the shops in Brick Lane

Knitwear in general is a good vintage buy, you will pick up Pringle, Pierre Cardin, Benetton, Ralph Lauren & Laura Ashley.

Coats & Jackets from 1960 wool coats, to leather jackets to Carhartt workwear, you will find a a huge variety.

All Jumpers from Rokit

Orange hand knit Jumper £60.00, Argyle Jumper £45.00 from House of Vintage

In the end, I bought the red jumper from Principles (who are still going would you believe it) it is Cashmere, because Cashmere is always a good buy. And the coat…well that is the one that got away!

I become slightly obsessed this time of year with COATS, my husband thinks I collect coats, I don’t, but they do tend to come into the house, stay a while, then go back to the shop or are rehomed, so hence I am still on the lookout for the perfect coat, which is herringbone or houndstooth check & mid-calf. 

I think my lovely late Dad may have had the same obsession with coats, he once bought a tweed coat for 15 Euros in 40-degree heat in Italy, he wore it on the plane home with his shorts, polo shirt and chunky boots, we were glad to be seated elsewhere on that flight! 

Being small of stature, getting the right length coat for me is tricky, I love a long coat, but too long & I can look like I am in fancy dress and too short, well I can look even shorter! 

Currently on the high street, the long trench coat is everywhere, (belted or not) & the oversized puffer or duvet coat is also still around, faux furs are still big news, & the teddy coat is a great alternative if faux fur is a bit too Shirley Bassey. 

I think Mango & Zara have the best wool coats this season, but if you are after a puffer or duvet style, Next, Superdry or Uniqlo have a good selection. ASOS also have a great selection, my niece came to visit a week ago & she was wearing a gorgeous houndstooth coat from ASOS (pictured below)

Some tips for buying a winter coat

*Make sure it is warm, some coats are just not that warm, down & wool are good options (I bought one recently that was made of recycled polyester, and it was like wearing a flattened cardboard box)

* Think classic, stay away from trends if you only have a certain amount of money to spend, it’s better to spend on a classic that will cover all bases. 

* But…if you are always out in the evening and you do have the extra cash, you might want two, a classic & a faux fur or pleather mac.

* Do you need a hood; does it need to be waterproof? if you walk a lot this is essential.

* If you drive a lot, you may need a car coat, trying to drive in a duvet coat, maybe dangerous to you & other road users!

* If you are buying vintage or from a charity shop, it is important that you try it on in person to see the quality up close, because of pilling etc.   

*  Think practicality, for colour & washing, that cream wool coat might look gorgeous in the shop, but probably won’t withstand our British winter or a red wine spillage. And if you never dry clean anything, well then your coat will need to be washable.

* How heavy is it, you can have warmth & lightweight, so don’t be fooled into thinking because it weighs a ton it will keep you warm, it won’t, it will just make your arms ache!

Here is my selection of some of my favourites on the high street right now (some are too long on me, but would be fine if you are 5’5” & over)

ZARA OVERSIZE ADERERROR COAT 2010/840 £169.00, ZARA OVERSIZE COAT 9197/757 £159.00

MANGO woollen coat with belt 47041281-SIRENITA-LM £159.00, MANGO oversized coat 37055550-GAUGUIN-LM£109.99

& OTHER STORIES, Double Breasted Coat £225, ASOS DESIGN smart heritage check oversized coat £85.00

NEXT Rib Sleeve Onion Quilted Coat M87-695 £80.00 MARKS AND SPENCER M&S Collection Faux Fur, T591144C £89.00

NEXT Rochelle Longline Double Breasted Padded Hooded Coat T65-369 £115

My amazing father Leo passed away on 28th November 2021 & he was laid to rest on the 15th December. I was always going to write about him, but today would have been his 82nd Birthday so today seems the most fitting. For as long as I can remember I have shared a birthday celebration with him, because my birthday is just seven days later, but this year he will be missing from the blowing out of the candles, & we all miss him indescribably. Some beautiful things were said about him in the eulogies from all of us, but I feel he would approve of me writing about him on his birthday, as he liked to tell me about his achievements & there were many.

If anybody wanted a lesson on self-belief, then Leo Smith would be the man for the job. He once had a teacher at school who said, “Smith you are a complete failure, you will never achieve anything in your life…” I am not sure if that remark was the catalyst for how he lived his life or it was Dad’s tough childhood (as they did not have much), but whatever it was, he was driven. Incidentally he met this teacher later in life and filled him in on what he had managed to achieve. 

Dad was born on the 20^th January 1940 in Stepping Hill Hospital, Stockport and was brought up at 1a Mount Pleasant, Hazel Grove. He had three younger siblings, Paul, Eileen and Vincent. His Dad, Richard, was from Lancashire & his Mum, Annie, was Irish. When Dad was aged five, he was admitted to an open-air school in the Wirral, he slept in a dormitory with the windows wide open, his dad had TB, so to ensure that he didn’t develop TB, he was sent away from his family, which must have been very heart-breaking for such a little boy and Annie had to travel 120 miles (round trip) to visit him. The house where they lived had no bathroom or inside toilet and was heated by coal fire downstairs.

Dad originally trained as an engineer, in 1957 he joined a marine engineering company and worked in the drawing office as a trainee draughtsman, but after a couple of years he decided engineering was not for him. He joined the firm Buckley and Bland in Stockport who were a letter press Printer, Dad was taken on as an apprentice lithographic artist, under the wing of Les Bickerton who became one of his lifelong friends. At Buckley & Bland he had found his calling & print would be his work and passion until 2001. In 1959 he met my mother Maureen at a Stockport Town Hall Dance & it was love at first sight, they were married in 1961 & celebrated their Diamond Wedding on October 7th 2021.

Growing up with Dad, my life was always interesting, exciting & sometimes chaotic. In my early life he was away a lot with frequent trips abroad and when he wasn’t travelling, he was always at his printing factory. His first business was Essex Colour & later he started The White Dove Press. His second premises was in Aviation Way Southend-on-Sea, he built this factory from scratch… it looked nothing like a factory & more like a grand Italian Villa. He set up Colourlink on the Grays Inn Road & later in Old Street, London. He went from employing 50 people in the early days to 100’s of people, which I know he was very proud of & we are too. Dad liked a ‘bit of a do’ over his work life, he held some big parties, a couple that I remember…one was at Duxford Airfield, where we all had to dress up in WW2 outfits & the other was a Victorian evening at the opening of his factory in Aviation Way, where the late great Spike Milligan cut the ribbon. Dad was never phased by reaching out to celebrities if he wanted them to open an event, he met Melvyn Bragg, Alexis Sayle & Frank Carson who he later became friends with.   

 

Dad was always well turned out, mostly suited & booted & had was never seen without his signature bow tie, he always had a hanky in his top pocket. He had braces in different colours & patterns, a vast tie collection, some amazing suits including a suit by someone called Tommy Nutter (that’s pretty apt for Dad). Some amazing, patterned shirts from florals to Hawaiian print. He didn’t just buy from the standard stores, he would buy designer, vintage and from independent shops. He loved cashmere jumpers, pattered scarves, hats…fedoras, straw hats, tweed caps and more. Even his sock collection is patterned. His wardrobe was colourful & interesting, just like him. He would also buy us things to wear, mainly accessories, but he was always spot on. He once bought my sister a pair of pink suede ankle boots from Italy, those boots made all her friends envious and me too. He was interested in fashion & textiles, as well as art, graphic design, typography, photography & illustration. When he owned an office in London he would help as many young creatives as possible, either giving them a job or offering free studio space so they could start their business. Dad collected friends, he had friends who were work colleagues’ designers, clients, Italian priests, painters, chefs, old friends, neighbours & he had friends of all ages, which I think kept him young at heart.

In the early 2000’s his businesses were no longer under his control. He had a fallow year & was obviously upset and grieving the loss of his companies. But then in true Dad style, he decided he was going to start an Italian cooking school. His first idea was to take people on holiday to a town in Italy called Bagni De Luca, the cooking would be taught buy a couple of chefs that he knew. I went on one of the first trips with my cousin, we had such a laugh with experiences like chanting meditation ( we sniggered all the way through),  getting stuck in the hire car when Dad had misjudged the size of the tiny road, we also visited an Italian Nonna in her house in the hills (I’m still not quite sure who she was). After a few of these trips Dad decided to set up his business from a barn next to our house, the kitchen for the cooking school was built in a matter of weeks, the name of this cooking school was Taste-Italia. Dad employed a chef called Mario, but they also had visiting chefs. In the back garden they had two polytunnels where they grew their own veg for the school & a pizza oven. Mum and Dad we’re probably a little old to be taking this on, but I don’t think Mum had much choice. They ran the school for a full 10 years with many happy customers writing to say what a fantastic time they had. Dad also did lots for charity, he ran cooking classes for schools and for the Women’s Refuge, he also put on events to raise money for Little Havens Hospice, like the Opera in the garden, I remember being massively embarrassed at the huge banner at Billericay station that was advertising it, every time the train pulled in. We have also had tons of family parties in the Taste Italia barn. I am so proud that he had the get up and go to start this business with all that he had been through & proud of Mum who worked so hard so he could realise his dream, she was the cog to his wheel. 

Dad opened up the world for me, he took me to some amazing places. He had an office in New York for a while and every time I hear an Englishman in New York I think of him. Me, my brother and sister-in-law went to help with one of his printing trade fairs, I was probably 19, I don’t think you could have three more excited people in our own suite in NYC. He took me again when I was late twenties, he hired a limo for me & my friend & took me to see Madame Butterfly and let my friend crash in my hotel room. I also did a road trip with him & Mum from San Francisco to LA, it was so much fun. We stayed on Nob Hill, Mum had her hair blow dried by a man in drag, we went to a place called the Starlight Club, we hadn’t eaten and there was no food, so we just drank cocktails, the artist performing was from the band Santana, I got up, shook my thing, at one point there was a huge circle with me in the middle, Dad & Mum thought it was hilarious. When the taxi arrived Mum & I collapsed on the floor between the pavement and the road (the sign of a good night) We travelled down route 101 to Los Angeles & stopped off on the way in a place called King Pin City which was full of Cowboys, where we ate refried beans. When we got to Los Angeles Dad took us to the Hollywood Walk of Fame, Santa Monica Beach, Chateau Marmont & The Beverly Hills Hotel. What a fabulous trip, that would not have happened without Dad’s adventurous spirit.  

 

When I told Stephen my husband, that Dad had gone, Stephen’s words were “he won at life”. Dad never let anything get in the way of him living life to the full & achieving his vision, however mad it was. He was challenging at times, but ‘sometimes’ he would back down. In 2018 he wrote a book about his life, I’m so pleased he did, because when I am really missing him, I can read his words and feel like he is talking to me. If you have got this far, one legacy that he has left for his children, his grandchildren and lots of people that crossed his path, is his unwavering self-belief, the idea that anything is possible and to enjoy your life and live it to the full, which is exactly what he did.

Tis the season…don’t worry I am not going to mention C*******s, not yet, but tis the season when we must get our knitwear out of storage, as we know the weather is only going to get chillier. Before you buy any new jumpers, have a look at what is already in your wardrobe, if there is anything that you can’t fit into anymore or you have gone off, pass on to a friend or relative or give to charity, Oxfam or The Salvation Army are always good options, as they have their own recycling businesses & there is no middleman, so it won’t end up in landfill. Once you have had a good look at your wardrobe, you may decide you are in the market for a jumper or two, make sure when choosing you really love it, because that will ensure you will wear it & keep it, if you are feeling lukewarm when you are trying on something & you don’t immediately love it, then step away from that sweater! Styles like classic Grandad cardigans won’t date, Cable knit jumpers, Breton striped jumpers & Cashmere are good buys too & have a look at some ethical options, like Baukjen at John Lewis & Join Life from ZARA (the high street are beginning to catch up on sustainability) Don’t forget vintage, I love a good vintage jumper (I will be rifling through my Mum’s wardrobe anytime soon) There are some good online stores to buy vintage like A Curated Life, Second Stories & Dirty Disco, these are more like collections so you don’t have to spend hours hunting something down, there are also the bigger online stores like Beyond Retro & Rokit. If you live in London, Bristol or Edinburgh then you have Marys Living & Giving Shops & if you fancy a trip to the seaside, Brighton is full of vintage shops, just head to the North Laine. (Hover over stores for websites)

How to wear..obviously a jumper with jeans is a no brainer, but there are more ways to wear your knits, try your various jumpers over your midi dresses, a chunky jumper looks great over a long skirt & a good evening look could be a thick jumper over a satin slip dress with some chunky ankle boots. Tank tops look good with a classic white shirt underneath or over a mid calf dress with long sleeves. Try a fine knit polo neck under a summer dress with spaghetti straps. Belt your long jumper & layer your knits.

This blog is not just sweaters, but cardis, tank tops, sweatshirts etc, I have covered a good selection of what is out there on the high street & beyond, so here is my edit…

For a very long time Oliver Bonas has been one of my favourite high street stores, I remember when it first opened at Liverpool Street Station, I would take a detour on my way home from London & spend way too much time in there, but I originally discovered it at St Pancras International, so whenever I passed through, I would make a beeline for the store & I would completely lose track of time. Anyway, I love OLIVER BONAS, the fashion design does not seem to have been watered down or changed completely (which happens to so many fashion brands). It has a vintage feel & is slightly quirky, which I also love. In August the store opened its doors in my local city Chelmsford & I have been meaning to write this blog since it opened, but a week away & illness got in the way, so here it is…

Oliver Bonas is actually a fashion & lifestyle store, you can also pick up furniture, gifts & even birthday cards, it was founded by Olly Tress in 1993, his first store opening up in Fulham when he operated his own second-hand till! The idea for the shop came from his travels & picking up interesting things from around the world, he also studied Anthropology at Durham University which ignited his passion for different cultures. Oliver Bonas is part of the ETI which is the Ethical Trading Initiative which promotes respect for worker’s rights around the globe. They are partnered with Re-Fashion, which help to reduce clothes waste by recycling old clothes & they are also partnered with a charity called UK Youth which empower young people in UK communities, regardless of their background or circumstances.

I visited my local store on the second day it opened (yes, I was keen) & I visited yesterday, so hopefully this is up to date. The weather has now changed, so long-sleeved longer line dresses feature heavily & tops & knitwear, so I have included those too, plus I have thrown in a practical pair of boots, all of these items are very versatile & multi seasonal, apart from the boots which would look a bit daft on a beach in July…but who knows with our British summer! There are quite a lot of tops in the sale too, I spotted a gorgeous organza floral top which would be a great special occasion, Christmas or a winter wedding.

NB Please excuse the zebra socks in pic 5, at least they are colour coordinated 😉

Dresses

Blue Floral Pintuck Long Sleeve Top £55.00

Knitwear

The All Seasons Skirt

The Essential Boots

For one moment a couple of weeks back, I didn’t think the sun would make an appearance, but here it is & I hope it sticks around, my fingers are firmly crossed!

The best option & easiest thing to wear in the summer heat is a dress, it’s a no brainer when getting dressed in the morning. I would opt for comfort & feeling cool, whether you are still working from home, grappling with public transport or doing the school run. For me fabrics have to be light, it has to be loose but have some versatility & it has to be easy, throw it on & your done (it cannot be like being in an episode of The Cube with belts, buckles & 50 buttons) and if you have acquired some lockdown love handles, as have I, then this seasons styles are perfect, so no need to stress about what size you are buying.

When searching for summer dresses, I always think… would I be happy to wear this next year, the year after etc, when my weight fluctuates will it look good, also I try to buy to keep, so as not to contribute to the fast fashion problem. In terms of styles, slip dresses, tea dresses, voluminous styles, mini smock styles & button-through are all in the line up. Don’t forget vintage or preloved (a greener option)

All of these have been sourced from the high street.

Today I should have been blogging about spring dresses, but I have chosen to write a different kind of blog post and cover a subject that means a lot to me. This week is ME awareness week, it runs from the 10th- 16th May. I was struck down by ME in my twenties, you may think ‘struck down’ sounds rather dramatic, but that’s exactly how it happened.

ME/CFS stands for myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome, the World Heath Organisation classification is that it is a neurological disease, the Department of Health officially recognises ME/CFS to be a neurological condition of ‘unknown origin’. The symptoms are wide ranging & debilitating, and it can be mild or severe, some of the symptoms (& there are many more) are fatigue, swollen lymph nodes, muscle aches & pain, sore throats, breathlessness, urinary symptoms, nausea, digestive problems, IBS, headaches, brain fog, alcohol intolerance & PEM – this stands for Post Exertional Malaise, this means when you exert yourself over what your body will tolerate, whether physical or mental, your body suffers a shutdown after effect, you experience what feels like the flu; your muscles are weak, your body will not carry you & all of your symptoms flare up & hit you one by one, this can be delayed for up to 72 hours after you have overdone things, so it is hard to establish the activity that pushed you over the edge, In order to go back to your previous levels of illness, you have to rest & not do anything until the relapse or crash passes.

Considering this illness has shaped my life, I have never really spoken about my experience, other than to the people that helped me through it & others I know with the same condition. I believe if I had a different illness this would not be the case, as when I was ill there was disbelief from some doctors, & some people around me, which is hard when you are dealing with illness. There was a stigma attached to ME/CFS in the 80’s & 90’s, it was referred to as ‘yuppie flu’ because it was linked to high flying career driven people, although the history of this condition dates back to the Victorian era, with other famous outbreaks happening in the 1930’s in a community hospital in Los Angeles, then later in the 1950’s at The Royal Free Hospital, this has carried on over the years, these clusters seem to be linked to an initial virus, in the same way that Long Covid occurred after Covid infection. ME/CFS can also start with a virus, infection or trauma, & many other ways, it can hit you quickly or take you down slowly, It also can effect you no matter your age or ethnicity. I know of people who have recovered, but I also know of people where there has been a devastating effect.

Here is my story…

When I was in my mid-twenties, I was loving my life & full of energy, I had been working as a freelance textile designer having graduated from Uni & I was hoping to move into the fashion world. All of a sudden I developed severe acne, my siblings both had acne as teenagers, I however, thought I had a lucky escape. The spots were painful, my face was covered & I tried everything to improve my skin. I was on work experience with a fashion designer in London & travelling to Carnaby St, but my self confidence was shot, make-up did not cover my spots & people did stare. I was referred to a dermatologist, who prescribed a strong acne medication & I remember in the consultation, I asked “Does it have side effects?” and the answer was “Everything has side effects, even paracetamol”. I was healthy, I was rarely ill, so I thought it would be fine. The prescribed course was 4 months, it wasn’t working very well, so the dermatologist put the dosage up, (he shouldn’t have, as it was measured by my weight & I was too light for the increased dosage) but the drug started to clear my skin & I was delighted.

On finishing the course of medication, I booked a holiday with a good friend of mine, we flew out to Fuerteventura and had a lovely week of eating, drinking & swimming. I remember the night it happened, it was a pretty perfect night, sitting in a sunny square having a beer, It was the night before we were due to fly back so we were taking it easy. That night, in the middle of the night I went to the bathroom & my legs just buckled, I could not walk, all the muscle strength in my legs just went, they just felt numb, I woke my friend up & she helped me to the bathroom & then back to my bed, my heart was racing as I thought I was having a stroke, I was terrified. As It was the middle of the night, we decided that no doctor would see me & it would be best to just try to make it home back to the UK, where I could see a doctor. The next day I felt weak, my glands were swollen, I felt fatigued and I had a headache which felt like my head was in a vice. I made it home and collapsed on the sofa.

The Early Days

This was the beginning of weeks, months & years of symptoms, swollen glands, severe fatigue, temperatures, muscle pain & weakness, bone pain & UTI’s, IBS & much more. I contacted the dermatologist who wrote to the manufacturers of the drug, I was told these types of side effects could occur, but they should clear up in 6 months… they did not! What I did not know, was that the change that had occurred in my body was permanent. I slept for huge amounts of time, I would sleep for 17 to 20 hours in a stretch, food would go straight through me, I felt like I had the flu a lot of the time, but also like I had been poisoned, I could not walk more than a few steps, I had problems lifting my head up, I couldn’t get up or down the stairs. I could not do the very basic things, like washing & brushing my hair & brushing my teeth, my muscles in my arms would not work, they would start twitching constantly, it was almost like I was lifting a 10 ton weight, when I was actually holding a hairbrush! At this stage, I was bed-bound, I had all my meals upstairs, but some days I didn’t eat. I couldn’t watch TV or read as couldn’t concentrate, my brain would not function. I slept & cried sometimes because of the symptoms & sometimes because of the life I had lost. My friends would ring to arrange a night out, they expected me to get better in a couple of weeks, (to shake it off) but it didn’t happen. Days felt the same & slipped into each other. Big stuff happened around me, friends bought flats, started careers, went travelling, my sister got married, I missed most of the day, as I was in bed with a temperature. My GP ran some blood tests, I had glandular fever when I was young, I hoped I had it again, but I was negative for Epstein-Barr Virus, my bloods did show I was fighting something, but what that was, they couldn’t say. About a year & a half into the illness, I was referred to a Rheumatologist, he found I had an under-active thyroid and discovered some anti-nuclear antibodies in my blood, which would suggest I would go on to develop Lupus, it meant there was an autoimmune response going on in my body, a bit like MS, but I didn’t have Lupus or MS & the thyroid medication made no difference to my illness.

The Diagnosis

My GP referred me to Professor Findley, who was a consultant neurologist in charge of the ME/CFS service in Romford, I had a brain scan & an EEG on my brain and on that same day I was diagnosed with ME/CFS, I was relieved & sad in equal measures, but there was a way forward at least. Under his supervision I started to take a very low dose trIcyclic, he said it would help with sleep & pain, he also told me to manage my illness by pacing activity and rest. A few weeks into this medication, my pain & my cognitive function improved, I could watch a tv programme & follow what was happening, my short term memory came back, the medication also helped with pain & because I was well rested at night, I had a bit more energy the next day, I could finally see a glimmer of light. Over the next months, I continued to make slow progress, I staggered my day with rest periods, and sometimes I was symptom free for a day or a few days, sometimes I would fool myself into thinking I was better, so I would overdo things (I did this quite a bit!) this would result in a relapse, where I would be back in bed again with flu like symptoms, it would sometimes take me months to work my way back to where I was before. In these periods of being symptom free, when I thought I was better, I occasionally tried an aerobics class, when I was 30 minutes in, I could feel my glands under my armpits swelling & my legs wobbling like mad, but I didn’t stop, for fear of standing out, so I ignored my symptoms ( little did I know I was damaging myself). Eventually my relapses became further & further apart, but I was still frustrated & I wanted full recovery, I still couldn’t stand unsupported ( I would find the nearest wall & lean), stair climbing was hard, I had problems finding the right word, & my glands would swell up all the time. I did lots of research to desperately find a cure, I tried… homeopathy, reiki, the candida diet, herbal medicine, the lightening process, reverse therapy to name but a few, but none of these worked for me & some made me worse & resulted in a relapse. I was no longer able to see Professor Findley, as he was only seeing patients privately, so my GP referred me to Dr David Smith who specialised in ME/CFS.

Recovery

The first time I entered his waiting room, something struck me, letters were stuck to the wall from patients who had recovered, I had never seen this or heard about this in the ME world, people just didn’t seem to recover! Dr Smith was a kind & slightly eccentric man, he treated people with low doses tricyclics as Professor Findley had, but also added a low dose of Fluoxetine Hydrochloride, the trIcyclics were for reaching a deep restorative sleep and the Fluoxetine Hydrochloride had an anti-fatigue effect, he provided all patients with his recovery programme which was a pacing programme and it was to be followed strictly in the early days of illness. Some patients (like me) were unable to tolerate all or part of the medication, so for me learning the recovery programme, finding out what made me worse was key. Dr Smith stressed two things to me about the illness, two things always made it worse…doing too much of one thing or just doing too much and stress. Over the years my appointments with Dr Smith helped me to see there was life after ME/CFS, patients of his were living normal lives and achieving great things, going back to school, getting qualifications, getting jobs, but always being realistic about what could be achieved and keeping stress in check, if there was a bad boyfriend in the wings he would say get rid, if you had a job that made you ill, change career. Some stress is unavoidable & for those times you may need a little help getting through, in the form of therapy or medication, but try to eliminate anything that does not help you in the here and now, and be OK with saying no to people, know your boundaries. Dr Smith has now retired, but I know his past patients & I am very grateful for his help, guidance & positivity. A couple of my symptoms still pop up from time to time if I am not mindful and I think my recovery is described as a ‘functional recovery’, I have had to change the way I live my life to stay well. Over the years I have gained a huge amount of knowledge of ME/CFS, I have talked and shared my experience with many newly diagnosed people, & quite a few have their own recovery stories too & since recovering have achieved great things. The good news is, if you are diagnosed these days you can make a quicker recovery, when I was ill there was disbelief, stigma, the wrong advice from some of the medical profession, my diagnosis took a long time, I lost a good five years to the illness & then 3 years after this I was recovering but functioning. It is very important to surround yourself with people who support you & believe you. The people who helped me through my dark days were my Mum, just being there for me was so important & knowing I wasn’t alone, The ME Association, I rang the helpline when I was feeling desperate & read any information they shared, I also joined community groups, (it helped to see I was not the only one), a boyfriend that I dated for a while was hugely supportive & brought humour back into my life, I had two friends both with chronic illnesses who understood, so we would meet & chat, my GP who although was learning herself about the condition, always believed me & would go that extra mile, & Professor Findley & Dr Smith.

Life After M.E/CFS

If someone had knocked on my bedroom door when I was at my worst with ME to tell me that I wouldn’t be stuck like this forever, I would not have believed them, I could not see how I would get better, as I was ill for such a long time and nothing seem to help, if they had told me I would be a mum to an amazing girl, meet my husband at Glastonbury festival, travel to some amazing places, go to gigs, cook, drive, eat out, laugh, work, write, care for family, socialise, walk, dance & swim, I would of thought it impossible, so this is a blog of hope, for anyone you may know who is sick with ME/CFS or Long Covid or any other chronic illness, please share this blog post & give them hope that recovery is achievable.

Where You Can Get Help

For anyone that needs help, here are some services (£) & free resources

https://meassociation.org.uk

Raelan Agle has a YouTube channel with many recovery stories & some great content https://raelanagle.com

Pamela Rose is a fatigue coach and will offer a 25% discount to readers of my blog, use code ’25OFF’ off the Three Week Fatigue Rescue Course https://www.pamelarose.co.uk

Lauren Windas is a Registered & Licensed Nutritionist & Naturopath https://www.laurenwindas.com/cfs/me https://www.instagram.com/laurenwindasnutritionist/

Toby Morrison https://www.cfshealth.com/home Toby has some free training & you can find him on YouTube.

Danielle Williams Registered Nutritionist https://daniellewilliamsnutrition.com

James Wythe https://healthylivingjames.co.uk